babies were throwing up all over the place
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
