My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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