Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
