I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
