Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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