I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
