Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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