hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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