yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
