pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
only if we run a train.
done.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
