is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize