he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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