HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
