They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's shark week go big or go home
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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