Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
