Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
