It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
