hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
