girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize