is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
