oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
