Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
