sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize