I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
