It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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