Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I understand Curling. That high.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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