after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize