dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
