why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
