she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
