I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
