listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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