I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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