there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
