I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
