i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
