There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Also, beer. Big fan.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love you.
Bad choice
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
