she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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