my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
