Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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