I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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