So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
