she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
