i just wanna soil my oats bro
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize