my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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