Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
