Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
