We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
