we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
