But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
