Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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