i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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