I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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