why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can't believe i had my finger in that
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
