as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
