Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
