I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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