How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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