You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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