also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
