I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
