I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
