I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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